Mothering

In her article, Sharon Hays discusses the four stages of the development in the cultural periods throughout the past three centuries that have led up to the American notion of intensive mothering. By looking at the cultural norms of the time, you can better understand the methods of mothering used because ideas about mothering are directly connected to the cultural ideas of the time. Hays argues that the modern American model of intensive mothering consists of the idea that children are helpless and priceless and that they should be reared by their mothers based on their needs. Rearing should be expertly informed, time consuming and expensive. In this model there is a very clear sense that American society believes children are very needy but very deserving.
The first stage in the development of the intensive mothering model is the change from looking down upon children as demonic and burdensome to viewing them as innocent and deserving of good care. In Europe during the Middle Ages, children were viewed very differently than how Americans view them today. They were seen as demonic, often depicting them as "sucking the lifeblood out of the mother." Many believed children would harm themselves and others, and so dressed them in tight clothing to prevent this. Although they believed that the children needed a lot of care in order to remain healthy, it was viewed as very time-consuming and burdensome, and was often passed on to someone else of a lesser social status. Many families sent their children away to be taken care of by wet nurses where the child often died of illness, starvation, or never returned to the family. Children were often seen as worthless until adulthood where they could perform tasks to support the family or marry into a higher social rank. By the way parents treated their children, it seems as though they felt no affection; however, many sociologists argue that there were feelings of affection but it was the cultural norm not to express them.
During the 17th and 18th centuries a change took place first among the bourgeoisie and then the aristocracy. The view of children as "innocent" replaced the belief that children were harmful and demonic. From this new idea of children being innocent came the need to protect them from the outside world. Here began a somewhat dramatic change in the rearing of children. Mothers began breastfeeding their own children, making toys for them, and giving them special clothing instead of swaddling clothes. As the children got older, many were kept at home instead of sending them off to work as an apprentice in order to keep them sheltered from the corrupt ways of the outside world. The philosophers of the time, namely Locke and Rousseau, greatly influenced the change in childrearing. They emphasized the need for parental love, protection and affection, and education and nurturing. Although changes in childrearing could be seen, they only occurred in a small percentage of the upper middle and aristocratic classes.
The next stage in childrearing was seen in New England Puritan practices. This stage consisted of the idea that children needed to be "redeemed" for their sinfull self-will through strict discipline and physical punishment. Children were flogged and physically disciplined, but also instructed religiously and forced to work. All of this discipline was used to make the children devoutly religious according to their Puritan views and equally important, an economic asset for the family and community. Children were punished for being lazy or idle. The guidelines for childrearing mainly came from the Bible. Similar to the previous stage, fathers were targeted more than mothers because females were seen as weak, indulgent, and excessively affectionate. The Puritans believed strongly in strict, firm, patriarchal control over the children and the family as a whole. The central objective of childbearing and rearing was to create more labor to help support the family economy. The job of the parents was not to nurture the children, but rather oversee that they were devoted workers and obedient religious believers.
The most dramatic changes in the four stages occurred in the third stage in the revolutionary period of the late 18th and early 19th centuries. During the war many women adopted the role of "republican mothers" taking responsibility for socializing the new republic's citizens and creating a virtuous population. These women worked hard to prove that they were not irrational, indulgent, and weak. As they began to be entrusted with managing the home while their husbands were working in industry or politics, the "cult of domesticity" arose, where women were the providers of protection, morality, and emotional support for the family. With the rise of these maternal roles, childbearing began to become synonymous with mothering. Mother-child relationships had more value. Children were no longer looked down upon as corrupt, rather they were seen as pure, innocent, and promising to make a more moral and kinder society in the future. In order to protect them from corruption, children were no longer sent out into the workforce at young ages. Instead, they were kept within the protection of the home, educated, and nurtured by their mothers. There they were supposed to develop a sound, moral conscience, which depended heavily on the maternal relationship. Instead of physical punishment, children were disciplined through teaching of morality and building a moral conscience. Much of this was done through modeling the children after their mothers, so mothers had to be aware of their morality and virtue. Affection was no longer seen as overindulgence, rather it was necessary in order to form a moral, well-rounded child.
The final stage of development in the intensive mothering model began in the late 19th century. The fear of children made a return, however, not the view of demonic children. Instead, people believed children were full of dangerous impulses that characterized them as children. Because of this, emphasis was placed on the parents overcoming these impulses by adhering to the scientific research of experts. Some of the techniques that were advised by experts include strict scheduling (eating), regularity, behavior modification, and detached handling. When a child cried, mothers were no longer taught to provide affection, rather they were advised to let the child cry so they learn that they can't always get what they want. Women were no longer seen as naturally adept to childrearing but were expected to be scientifically trained in childrearing. After WWII women increasingly joined the workforce leaving little time for nurturing and childrearing creating a problem for the intensive mothering model. Many attempts were unsuccessfully made, for example the introduction of the "feminine mystique," to make mothers return to the home. Although women still remain in the workforce, many argue that the instensive mothering model still remains intact.
I do believe that my mother and many of my friends' mothers follow the intensive mothering model. Although many moms participate in the workplace, most take leave during the first few years of their child's life so they can nurture and provide affection and guidance for the children. Moms today increasingly rely on expert scientific advice as to how to best develop their children's cognition and foster healthy emotional well-being. My mom personally stayed home the first 6 years of my life raising me and my three older brothers.
Ann Crittenden's article discussing the devaluing of mothering. The article makes it clear that American society does value mothering. Many people consider raising children the most important job in the world. The article also shows the economic advantages produced by mothering. Two thirds of all wealth are created by human capital, which results from the effective childrearing in most cases done by mothers. Although America clearly values the role mothers play, business, government, and laws do not support these proclaimed values. Mothers are increasingly punished for staying at home and encouraged to abandon the tasks that everyone seems to deem absolutely essential. Crittendon provides many indicators of this contradiction. First, many workplaces guarantee that women will have to severely cut back on work and often quit once they have children, decreasing their income tremendously. Second, in 47 out of 50 states women's unpaid work does not qualify them for any ownership of the primary paid workers' income. Also, federal social policies don't consider unpaid care of dependent family members as work, so many stay at home mothers are not qualified for social insurance programs such as Social Security. All of these factors work to penalize anyone that forgoes the workplace in order to stay at home and take care of the family. I agree with Crittenden that there is a stark contradiction. I do believe that our society internally values motherhood and childrearing. I also believe that society externally has a problem promoting and supporting this internal valuing. I don't think it is because people have placed less importance on mothering. I think the economic and political conditions of the time have given way to programs and legislation that ends up penalizing mothers.
Collins' article focuses on African-American motherhood. The African-American community heavily values women when it comes to mothering and taking care of the family. It doesn't always have to be the biological mother that provides care. In many cases, mothers turn to their mothers, sisters, cousins, or even neighbors to help care for their children. Women-centered networks account for the care of children in African-American communities. Two types of mothering include care by bloodmothers and care by othermothers. Care by bloodmothers consists of the actual biological mother providing the majority of care for her children. Care by bloodmothers is expected, but African-American communities have begun to recognize that giving full responsibility for childcare to one person may not be smart or possible. As a result, care by othermothers has risen. Here, other females, called "othermothers," aid the bloodmother in caring for her children. Othermothers can take in children born into severe poverty, abusive families, drug-addicted mothers, or just bloodmothers that lack the skills and preparation to properly care for their children. A community-based child care network often arises where the women of the community reciprocally care for one anothers children, helping to foster morality and character among them and the entire community. Collins relates these two types of mothering to the notion of "motherhood as a symbol of power." Many people, both black and white, view African-American mothers as strong and powerful for overcoming race, class, gender, etc. adversities. Black women's involvement in the community-based child care network often leads to political activism and becomes an important basis for power among the African-American society. They have a sense of power in raising the children of the community to become upstanding citizens that can revitalize struggling neighborhoods.
The final article gives personal accounts the reveal poor women's views on and experiences with marriage and childbearing. The article focuses on one woman, Jen, but says that her experiences were very common among all 161 other women that were interviewed. None of these women had a desire to avoid marriage. Many poor women want to marry, but they view divorce as worse than having a child out of wedlock, so they wait years before they get married, and their relationships often end before they feel they're stable enough to get married. Also, many poor women feel they need to be economically independent before they can enter in a marriage. In poor neighborhoods, drugs, crime, and poverty can often lead to a father getting carted off to prison, killed, or simply leaving his child and its mother. In fear of this, women strive to become financially independent before entering into a marriage in case one of these situations occur. However, the paid labor force does not provide enough income for many of these mothers to reach economic stability. As far as childbearing, many poor mothers see it as a saving grace. They feel that having a child saved them from perpetuating a life of drugs, crime, and other misbehavior. It gives them a sense of responsibility and also provides an emotional relationship-someone to care for. Edin and Kefalas believe that poor women need to have easier access to higher paying jobs that will allow them to achieve economic stability and independence in order for them to escape poverty. If they achieve economic independence, they will be more prone to enter into marriages, which is proven to help ease the effects of poverty. Also, as the poor become more economically mobile, they increase their chances of marrying men of a higher economic class. I definitely agree that higher incomes need to be available so the poor can become financially independent. However, I do believe that schooling is directly linked to this, so we need to do something to keep the poverty-stricken in school. Cutting down on crime and drugs in poor neighborhoods will also have beneficial results to relieving poverty.